Friday, November 4, 2011

Life's too short to watch bad movies

I used to think I had to finish everything I started, including bad books and movies. But recently, I decided that if I don't like something, I don't have to finish it. Time is a luxury I don't always have, so I choose to spend it wisely.

Here are a few movies I stopped watching after 15-40 minutes (you may notice a trend with these; I'm not the biggest fan of chick flicks):
The Backup Plan
Eclipse
The Bounty Hunter
Life As We Know It
The Ugly Truth

Two of those movies star Katherine Heigl. Her characters seem to always irritate me. They're usually clumsy and socially dumb and she always has this bewildered/goofy/golden retreiver look on her face.

If the character is successful and attractive, she also has to be socially retarded and get into ridiculous situations. It's like the female version of every Ben Stiller character. Examples: Katherine Heigl's characters in "The Ugly Truth" and "27 Dresses," Mandy Moore's character in "Because I Said So," J-Lo in "The Wedding Planner," Sandra Bullock in "The Proposal" and "While You Were Sleeping," Amy Adams in "Leap Year," etc.

While I'm on the topic of Katherine Heigl, she is set to star in "One for the Money," an adaptation of Janet Evanovich's book by the same name. I'm a Janet E. fan, having read the first few books in the Stephanie Plum series, but I would not have chosen Heigl for the role of Stephanie. For those who've read the series, here is my dream cast:

Stephanie Plum: Mary McCormack

Mary McCormack is probably about 10 years too old for this role (but I think she could totally pass for a 30-something), but she's the person I picture in my head when reading these books. She seems ballsy but also attractive and girl-next-door-ish. For some reason I thought the character Stephanie was blonde, but Wikipedia is telling me otherwise.

Joe Morelli: Adam Rodriguez


I know Morelli is supposed to be Italian, but I see him as "guy from CSI: Miami" (that's what I Googled to find his name/picture).

Lula: Yvette Nicole Brown

The movie has Sherrie Shepherd in this role, and I think she'll probably do a pretty good job. But, every time I watch "Community," I think Yvette Nicole Brown could play just the right amount of crazy as the prostitute-turned office worker, Lula.

Grandma Mazur: Ann Morgan Guilbert

I had to make sure she was still alive before I suggested this actress. Remember the sitcom "The Nanny"? The character of Grandma Yetta was nearly identical to Grandma Mazur. It's a role Betty White is also thrust into--sweet and crazy Grandma who sometimes makes inappropriate comments. Note: this is how I will dress when I'm old. Bring on the bling!

Vinnie: a short, fat, Italian actor

I can't think of the name of the guy I'd cast as Vinnie, but he'd look nothing like the guy actually starring in the movie.

I guess I really went off on a tangent, but now you know my true feelings about chick flicks and the cast of "One for the Money." Now the cast of "Hunger Games," that's another story.