Reasons why Santa was/is creepy:
1. "He sees you when you're sleeping; he knows when you're awake." It's scary/disturbing when anyone watches you in your sleep, let alone an overweight dude wearing a fake beard. And does he see me when I'm going to the bathroom? That's embarassing.
2. He's invincible. There is no way to kill Santa.
3. He's exempt from the law. Ever heard of breaking and entering?
4. A lack of chimney doesn't stop him. He'll find a "magical way" to get into your house.
For those reasons (or maybe I was just scared), I would never sit on Santa's lap. Here's my mom's memory of Christmases past:
"My kids would never sit on Santa's lap. Brianna would stand about 3 feet away and yell her wishes. Kelby would stare at him and Caitlin would scream the whole time."
That doesn't surprise me. I've always been a screamer. But what was up with Caitlin's high-water pants? Mine were probably high-water, too, since it appears that I had them pulled up to my armpits. Hey, it was the 80s.
For another example of a creey Santa, I recommend reading David Sedaris' essay "Six to Eight Black Men."
"Listen, you might want to pack a few of your things together before you go to bed. The former bishop from Turkey will be coming along with six to eight black men. They might put some candy in your shoes, they might stuff you in a sack and take you to Spain, or they might just pretend to kick you. We don't know for sure, but we want you to be prepared." --David Sedaris
4 comments:
About Cait's pants, she was wearing this cute little sweat suit and I was holding her and when I put her down the legs had crawled up. But aren't you kids cute? That was back when you were still cute.
Mom, you don't need to defend your choice to dress Caitlin in capri pants in freezing cold weather. I'm turning you in to child protective services.
That's what you get for holding her instead of me.
OMG is your hair crimped??
I don't know if it was crimped or just naturally frizzy. But look how light it was! I was almost blonde.
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