I've been in San Diego for the past five days at a conference for work. I thought Matt would at least feign happiness when seeing me, but apparently he loved his bachelor days.
Me: I still slept on my side of the bed, even though you weren't there.
Matt: I slept in the middle of the bed. It was awesome! I've never slept better. I used your pillows, too.
Me: Ugh, I am at my all-time highest weight. Time to start going to the gym again.
Matt: I've lost 41 pounds! And I haven't even been working out!
Matt: (While hugging my pillow) Goodbye soft pillow. Goodbye bachelor life.
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